A Southland family continues to struggle with their grieving process as funerals held during alert level 2 remain limited to 10 people, dashing the hopes of thousands of kiwis who thought they would be able to take part in larger gatherings to farewell their loved ones. 

The Funeral Directors Association of New Zealand has condemned the government's decision to continue with the 10 person limitation, calling it "cruel and without compassion".

This is an especially bitter announcement for the FDANZ which had been "led to believe" by the government that larger gatherings of up to 100 would be allowed for funerals under Alert Level 2. 

FDANZ CEO David Moger said the association had already started putting in place new health and safety protocols to fit with COVID-19 health and safety guidelines. 

"We had a COVID-19 safety plan in place, we had prepared seating arrangements and we were all ready to go," he said. 

He questioned why restaurants and movie theatres were allowed to accommodate up to 100 people at Alert Level 2, but funerals and wedding were not.

At this afternoon's daily COVID-19 health briefing, the government confirmed it was staying firm on its stance that funerals, along with weddings, are to be kept to a maximum of 10 people. 

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern these were events where "people come together to be together" and therefore the likelihood of spreading infection through hugging and kissing was more common. 

"Funerals and tangi are a place where you want to comfort people and support one another... where this is not likely to happen at restaurants [as] people will be staying in their respective bubbles," Ms Adern said.

"We know this is causing pain but equally we have tried to be really consistent," she said. 

However, Mr Moger reiterated his assertion that funerals could be managed to mitigate such risk and that there were now many funerals waiting to happen and many families waiting to be able to grieve their loved ones properly. 

"Over the [Level 4 and 3] lockdown period we'll have had around 6000 deaths in New Zealand... tens of thousands of people have been impacted by this. Weddings can be postponed, funerals cannot."

This is exactly the problem that one Invercargill family now faces. 

Mike Conway and his sister Jodi lost their mother Josephine after she had a stroke during Alert Level 4. 

She was admitted to hospital on April 19 and died on April 23. 

The Conway family wanted to hold a tangi but, due to current government restrictions, this could not take place, something Mr Conway said had been a devastating blow for the whole family. 

"Being Maori, we have an inherent grieving process that we go through... for us, it's not just the funerals, it the whole process right through to burial, but that was denied," he said. 

Mike Conway said he was drafting a submission to Parliament against the blanket rules that currently restricted families from seeing loved ones in hospital before they died, and prohibited them from holding funerals larger than 10 people. 

He said not being able to properly grieve the loss of his mother has caused a strain on his family's mental health and well-being, especially the grandchildren who had found it particularly hard. 

Mr Conway said the staff at the Southern District Health Board and the hospital had been absolutely fantastic and he felt for them having to work against such strict and cold rules. 

"It's the people at the top making decisions but it's the people at the coal face who have to implement them. There were some [staff] in tears having to tell people that they couldn't say goodbye [to their loved ones]."

Fortunately, Mr Conway and five others in the family were granted an exemption on compassionate grounds to visit Josephine in the hospital, as Southland had had no new cases of COVID-19 for a while.

But the family, who at home have a bubble of 13, weren't allowed to bring the body home or bury the body in accordance with traditional tangi protocols along with extended family. Instead, the step of cremating the body had to be taken. 

"The gates to the crematorium are locked so you have toot your horn as the hearse goes past," Mr Conway said.

"We're stuck," he said. "The wider family wants to grieve, and we're stuck."

"You can't postpone grief."

Invercargill City Councillor Toni Biddle said this kind of news from the community was devasting and that many other families had come to her for help with similar stories. 

Cr Biddle posted on Facebook: "I have dealt with so many families over this time. [They] are devastated and I mean absolutely devastated to the core."

She said at Level 4 people understood they had to wait, but that they were "getting desperate now." She also said she was aware of cases where people have chosen to break the law and take their deceased loved ones home.

Mrs Biddle said she has been supportive of all the government's calls so far, but said this was a step too far.

She, with the support of several MPs, has submitted a petition to Parliament requesting that families be able to bring their loved ones home or to a marae, and that the number of people allowed at a funeral be lifted to 100. 

"I just don't think [the government] have thought this through."

"The biggest concern for me in this time as an individual is dealing with a consistent wave of families in the community that are dealing with grief," she said. 

She said the petition was pending moderation and she hoped there would be a positive development from government tomorrow.